20 years ago today marks a loss. Though not dwelt on often, it will always be part of my story.
The excitement, the anticipation,
the physical pain, the emotional pain, the whys, the loss of someone already loved,
yet never met.
Such sadness & grief…. such bitterness. No face to imprint on the memory, no gathering to say goodbye, no support to help the grieving, just gone and alone.
No one knew you yet, no one knew what to say, what to do.
Different than other loss.
First pregnancy, first child… the longing for motherhood. All around babies cry, big mama bellies, family, friends experiencing the gift of life.
Sadness & pain, yet never alone…
God knew best, though so hard to understand at the time.
patience, faith, forgiveness, gratitude, trust…
otherwise not learned.
Sothankful you never had to experience the pain of this world.
Thankful for a Heavenly Father who knew
I needed you to be there...more than here. To learn & grow so I could be molded a bit more like Him.
You will always be part of the tapestry of my life that God is weaving.
From my perspective sometimes looking like one big jumbledmess.
Knots and mismatched threads…
Oh to see the other side, the masterpiece only God can fashion.
He isn’t done with me yet.
To see your bright thread that is weaved into the picture of my life.
The thread of
faith and forgiveness and the reminder of how much I am loved.
How much we all are loved by our creator if only we would see who He is and what has been given.
I look forward to the day I will see you & know you, for now dear one, you are in a better place than I, resting in His arms.
1 Peter 1:6-9
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen[a] you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith—the salvation of your souls.